I Am My Father
You ever think about how your otaku lifestyle can be a direct result of how your parents behaved back then? What if your father’s history had a role to all this? What if you never knew until later in your life?
As most of you readers may know, I have a history of depression. I’ve been fighting depression for as long as I have been diagnosed with it. For a while, I thought there was no family history of depression. My mother often told doctors that there was no genetic inheritance. A few years ago, however, I learned more about my father and his battle with himself.
My father was tired of work and wanted to retire badly. He was complaining non-stop. I learned he had self-esteem issues in the past because of how his father treated him. His father always yelled at him for the littlest things. My mom told me that my dad was a lazy bum with little tact and self-confidence. She told me that if she never fell in love with him, who knows what would have happened. That’s when I understood why I have depression in the first place.
So why did my mom fall in love with him? I think maybe it’s because he really wanted to change. My dad tried to secretly escape China to Hong Kong via ship once. He was too late to get on-board, but he jumped into the water regardless and swam as hard as he could before authorities arrested him. My dad went to jail for a few months and was treated like crap. He even got his eye hit by the end of a rifle once.
Although I find it easier to talk to my mom than my dad, my dad reminds me a lot of myself. I often get told that I look like him too. He is a very big kid at heart. My dad is almost always about having fun and making jokes with people. He loves playing with and talking to kids. I may not be great at the kids’ department, but with friends, I am like him. My mom jokes that she has to take care of three kids sometimes.
He was funny, angry, sad and kind. The best thing about my dad is that he was always there to play with my sister and I when we were kids. It’s sad how so many fathers are not there for their kids because they’re either off doing dumb stuff or in jail.
This is him now.
Guess this explains why I’ve become more eccentric than ever. Sometimes I wonder what if my father was an otaku. He actually watched Initial D with me when I was younger. Oh no, is this the main reason why yaoi has been slowly corrupting my brain? OYAAAAAAAAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!
When people say that children do take after their parents, you better believe there is some truth to this statement. My love of Japanese pop culture is a result of my father being young at heart.
As someone once told me, grow up, but don’t grow old.
Happy Father’s Day all!
